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miami escorts GuestElite Escort Girls « Result #1 on Aug 1, 2009, 12:15am »
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Result 2 of 10: Author Topic: Religious Tits (Read 9 times)
d2s65w GuestReligious Tits « Result #2 on Mar 13, 2009, 9:56pm »
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said. 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife' 'What type of bra?' asked the clerk. 'Type?' inquires the man 'There is more than one type?' 'Look Around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material. 'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras,' replied the salesclerk. Confused, the man asked what were the types. The saleslady replied 'The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?' Still confused the man asked 'What is the difference between them?' The lady responded 'It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.wow gold wow gold
Result 3 of 10: Author Topic: Brains Change Result (Read 5 times)
df2s65e GuestBrains Change Result « Result #3 on Mar 13, 2009, 9:55pm »
Three women are out shopping at an antique shop. They stumble upon an unusual lamp. A voice heard from a genie within the lamp begs to be set free in return for granting each of them a wish. Now one of the women just doesn't believe it, and says: "Ok, if you can really grant wishes, than double my I.Q." The genie says: "Done." Suddenly, the woman starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analysing it with extreme insight. The second woman is so amazed she says to the genie : "Triple my I.Q." The genie says: "Done." The woman starts to spout out all the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping all the scientists of varying fields: physics, chemistry, etc. The last woman is so enthralled with the changes in her friends, that she says to the genie: "Quintiple my I.Q." The genie looks at her and says: "You know, I normally don't try to change people's minds when they make a wish, but I really wish you'd reconsider." The woman says: "Nope, I want you to increase my I.Q. times five, and if you don't do it, I won't set you free." "Please," says the genie "You don't know what you're asking...it'll change your entire view on the universe...won't you ask for something else...a million dollars, anything?" But no matter what the genie said, the woman insisted on having her I.Q. increased by five times it's usual power. So the genie sighed and said: "Done." And she became a man. wow gold ,wow gold
Result 4 of 10: Author Topic: Happy Gorrila (Read 2 times)
f9d5e8 GuestHappy Gorrila « Result #4 on Mar 13, 2009, 9:55pm »
It's a beautiful, warm spring morning and a man and his wife are spending the day at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. He's wearing his normal jeans and a T-shirt. The zoo is not very busy this morning.As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large hairy gorilla. Noticing the woman, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, and holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), he grunts and pounds his chest with his free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, thinks this is funny. He suggests that his wife teases the poor fellow some more. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at him, and play along. She does, and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She does, and Mr. Gorilla is about to tear the bars down. "Now try lifting your dress up your thighs and sort of fan it at him." he says. This drives the gorilla absolutely crazy and now he's doing flips. Then the husband nabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her into the cage with the gorilla and slams the cage door shut. "Now, tell HIM you have a headache . . . " wow gold ,WOW power leveling
Result 5 of 10: Author Topic: Trip To Europe (Read 3 times)
fsd95e GuestTrip To Europe « Result #5 on Mar 13, 2009, 9:54pm »
A beautiful young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young sailor stopped her. "You have so much to live for," said the sailor. "Look, IˇŻm off to Europe tomorrow and I can stow you away on my ship. IˇŻll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy." With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe, the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches and make love to her until dawn. Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection. "What are you doing here?" asked the captain. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Europe. Plus heˇŻs screwing me." "He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry".wow gold wow gold
Result 6 of 10: Author Topic: My Declaration of Self-Esteem (Read 6 times)
asln2009 GuestMy Declaration of Self-Esteem « Result #6 on Feb 26, 2009, 1:30am »
The following was written in answer to a 15-year-old girlˇŻs question, ˇ°How can I prepare myself for a fulfilling life?ˇ± I am me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me.wow power leveling There are people who have some parts like me but no one adds up exactly like me. Therefore, everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I alone choose it. I own everything about me -- my body, including everything it does; my mind, including all my thoughts and ideas; my eyes, including the images of all they behold; my feelings, whatever they might be -- anger, joy, frustration, love, disappointment, excitement; my mouth and all the words that come out of it -- polite, sweet and rough, wow gold correct or incorrect; my voice, loud and soft; all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me,wow power leveling I can become intimately acquainted with me in all my parts. I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts. I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know. But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for the solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do,wow power leveling and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is me. This is authentic and represents where I am at that moment in time. When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did, and how I thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting.wow gold I can discard that which is unfitting and keep that which proved fitting, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me and therefore I can engineer me.wow gold I am me and I am okay.
Result 7 of 10: Author Topic: Class Reunion (Read 2 times)
asln2009 GuestClass Reunion « Result #7 on Feb 26, 2009, 1:30am »
I was minding my own business a few weeks ago when I got ˇ°the callˇ± -- that dreaded, shrill ringing of my telephone bearing news just short of a death in the family. It was a former high school classmate asking *istance in our 20-year class reunion. Could it be 20 years already? I shuddered. Cold chills went up and down my spine as tiny beads of sweat popped out on my forehead. What had I done with my life the past 20 years? My mother told me IˇŻd have to deal with this some day,wow power leveling but I had laughed it off, just like I laughed off those embarrassing pink plastic curlers she used to wear in her hair. (I picked up a set at a garage sale just last week. Got a great deal on them, too!) ItˇŻs amazing how a brief phone call can totally turn oneˇŻs life upside down. Suddenly, I began hearing those 1970s songs (now known as ˇ°oldiesˇ±) in a different arrangement, realizing that Mick Jagger was over 50, ˇ°Smoke on the Waterˇ± never did make any sense at all, and my ˇ°Seasons in the Sunˇ± had literally faded into oblivion. Had the sun set on me already? I glanced in the mirror.wow power leveling (Okay, I stared in the *ed mirror.) I examined every tiny little crevice and pore, starting with my hairline, down past those patronizing ˇ°smile linesˇ± to the base of my neck. No double chin yet, I thought. The next few weeks were pure hell. Each day began with a grueling training program -- a 6:30 a.m. run in a futile attempt to bounce off that unsightly baggage that had somehow accumulated on my thighs overnight. I went shopping for the perfect dress -- you know, the one that would make me look 20 years younger. I found out that they stopped selling them around 1975. Three dresses later, I came to my senses.wow power leveling There was only one logical explanation: I was having a mid-life crisis. I realized that the funny, crunching noise I heard each night as I climbed the stairs was really my knees. I had seriously considered adding potty training to my resume as one of my greatest accomplishments. Bran flakes had become a part of my daily routine -- and not because they were my favorite cereal.wow gold I held Tupperware parties just so I could count how many friends I had. Life just hadnˇŻt turned out the way IˇŻd planned. Sure, I was happy. I had a wonderful husband and two great kids in the center of my life. But somehow, working part-time as a secretary and mom hardly fit my definition of someone my classmates had voted as wow gold ˇ°most likely to succeed.ˇ± Had I really wasted 20 years? Just about the time I was ready to throw in the towel and my invitation, my seven-year old tapped me on the shoulder. ˇ°I love you, Mom. Give me a kiss.ˇ± You know, wow gold IˇŻm actually looking forward to the next 20 years.
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